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"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

Weird things I do because of the internet

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

"It says here that if you read stuff on an electronic device you can miss the big picture."

Day one, post grad

"This translation app isn't working."

"All this time I've been trying to get her to walk, and all it took was a phone."

"Some fine day, my son, all this will be yours."

Journey of a sandwich through the digestive system.

'Oh, relax. Stopping to ask how to use the GPS does not violate the male decree against asking directions.'

The guy who took a wrong turn off the electronic superhighway and wound up in a microwave oven in Davenport, Iowa.

"I was pretty highly respected until email came along."

"You kids are losing your ability to communicate person-to-person...so we're having a good old-fashioned family talk!"

"I was just ringing to see if you got the e-mail about the letter I sent you?"

'Data, data everywhere!'

Man about to enter a maze with a arrow saying 'Internet' with the world at its center

Number Phobia.

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'I told you you should have bought a sat nav...!'

"Forgetting passwords doesn't make you a bad person, Arnold."

'Sorry mate, you'll have to ask someone else, I'm not from this area ...'

"And then bear left at the war memorial, first right down Newton road and St Luke's is straight ahead."

'We could use a little divine guidance right about now, reverend.'

"Mommy uses emojis when she texts me bedtime stories."

"Recalculating... Recalculating... Recalculating... Recalculating..."

"Oh shut up."

"No, no, no. Double-click to open. I'll walk you through it one more time. Go get your leash."

"Unless you have a 13 year-old running around, I strongly recommend you buy the 1 year technical support."

'Backseat driver...'

"These days, I don't eat homework. I just install ransomware."

"Yes, Megan, it's book. Think of each page as a screen."

Close all your windows please.