Digital Era Debater T-Shirts

'The U.S. postal service is in danger of going away!'

"Would you relax? They never look up."

The Proust of Twitter

A secretary at a desk with a nameplate the says Dot Com.

My new laptop is nicer than your new laptop. I'm not going to get into a competition about whose new laptop is nicer. The one I replaced is nicer than the one you replaced. Stop it.

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

"We broke up. I wanted a proprietary platform - she wanted open source."

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

Press Any Key. No, Not That One.

"I had a great weekend... My Grandpa talked about the war again and my Dad about his most daring facebook comments!"

'We're beta testing Goo-Goo Glass.'

"If he has more than 20 followers on Twitter we call him a 'celebrity'."

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comments section just solved the Middle East crisis."

'Remember when we used desktop computers? When everyone at least 'looked' busy?'

"I wasn't copying off others. I was just crowdsourcing the answers."

"It says 'Click here to enlarge.'"

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

Quadruple dark hot chocolate. Whoa, everything all right? Sure, yeah, great. I'm a journalist and writer in an era in which the printed word has been totally devalued by free distribution of information on the internet. Can I pay in prose? Point taken.

Modern Portrait Gallery

'I can watch T.V. shows on the computer, so who needs a TV?'

''The Thinker' is an outdated concept.'

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

"Embarrassing things that happen to you in the bedroom stay in the bedroom. . . and on facebook."

21st century Safe Sex - protecting against face-recognition software.

I can't keep up, Randy. What happened, little buddy? You know how I created a hate-bot to automate my back you up in online arguments business? Don't tell me: The Russian troll farms beat you to it. No. My hate-bot became sentient and created an even snarkier hate-bot. Mankind is officially obsolete. For an extra $1, the HB-1000 will throw in racism and misogyny.

"All the better to ignore you with."

"Did you get that text I sent asking you to turn around?"

Books On Paper

What'r We Doing Today, Daddy?

"According to google, yahoo and bing, the meaning of life is 'more data space'."

Evolution in the Era of the Selfie

"I can tell you about this article or you can just read the comments online."

"I know you're wrong, I just can't get the computer to say it yet."

Cyber Fight

High Tech/Low Tech.