Digital Culture Critiquer Gifts

'Darling! I think you're boring enough to be a blogger.'

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

Weird things I do because of the internet

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

'I have multiple personalities and they are all following me on Twitter.'

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

The Digital Family

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

"Lately, I've been trying to spend less time staring at the glowing orb."

Press Any Key. No, Not That One.

"Fact amnesty"

'Remember when we used desktop computers? When everyone at least 'looked' busy?'

'for more obit info, go to...'

"I've founded my own religion." "Of course you have, Rudy." "It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths." "If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted." "What are the central tenets of your religion?" "A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation."

Internet Cafe

"Do you believe the world is all an illusion?" "I know it is. I know it can be bent by our collective will. When I was born, there were horses and buggies in the streets. But as soon as we all believed we could do it, we went to the moon." "Oh, I agree. That's why I'm trying to get the whole internet to retweet 'It's possible to upload our minds into immortal robot bodies.' If the entire hive mind of Earth tweets that at the same time, it's got to come true." "I hope not. I'd hate for you to end

Buzzfeed does The Bible: 10 commandments that will blow your mind.

"Please turn on your cell phones."

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

Dear Sadie, I'm just an aging Baby-Boomer who still believes in America, and sees all the good around me, but I don't understand why we've become so mean. How can I feel good about us again? Signed, Marlemarion. Great question. There's an easy answer as to how you can feel better about the world. Change your name to something normal! I just don't agree with the @#$% premise that we've gotten mean.

"All the better to ignore you with."

I started my own Youtube channel. What's it about? Well, there are already too many stupid-stunt-and-prank channels, and too many holier-than-thou-independent-news-analysis channels. But get this: There were absolutely zero holier-than-thou-stupid-stunt-and-prank-analysis channels. Probably a reason for that. My first hard-hitting post reveals how the inauthenticity of the "Mario Kart" prank is driving away Millennials.

"Practicing my hate-face."

"What was the point of writing a blog that nobody else could read?"

"Yeah, but this is a cat on a skateboard being arrested by a cop with a tattoo of the Confederate flag!"

"Did you get that text I sent asking you to turn around?"

Better Living Through Technology

"I'm sorry, Tom, you'll have to come in. I can't diagnose just from your tweets!"

"In the old days people with small dicks needed big cars. Today they write hate comments against Greta Thunberg."

Caveman at Computer