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The Computer Bore

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

'There's nothing on.'

Proud of herself for "never owning a tv" Emily watches eight episodes of a mediocre tv show on her laptop while in bed.

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

"We're so proud. Only 5 months old and already knows how to scroll and swipe."

IT staffer vacation tan lines.

"No, I don't play. I just watch people play on the internet."

"Out of all your 277 passwords, not once did you use my name. Are you losing feelings for me?"

"Sure, this camp has swimming, games, fishing, horseback riding and rock climbing. But, does it have Wi-Fi?"

"I think I might go outside. My fresh air app is glitchy today."

"So, what do you think about the web developer course you are taking?"

"After finally discovering that we exist, you would think you would have something more important to ask than if we had Roku."

Buzzfeed does The Bible: 10 commandments that will blow your mind.

Is it a book? A film? A TV show? How do you mime a podcast?

This is Pandora, our new Content Manager.

'And by clicking on 'I Agree,' you agree to the terms and conditions...'

Newborn Uses Smartphone To Send His Dad A Text Message.

"Ever wonder where all those cat videos come from?"

Man with 'low memory' on his phone and his head

"Someone posted a picture of you working in the yard, so I knew right away it had to be a deepfake."

"Our problem is we upgraded everything in the new version except the hype."

How to apply for a job, then vs. now

'I've finally achieved a paperless office.'

'And another confusing thing, they give you a ‘textbook,' but it has nothing to do with texting.'

Strategies that will always work

'Today we learned if it ain't on Google, it ain't worth knowing.'

'Sorry, but this job is in a paperless office.'

"Julie, are you live tweeting this!?"