Digital Asset Manager T-Shirts

"It's not empty, stupid! You're looking at 3 million in Bitcoin!"

"You are still here."

Travel looks strong!

"We do have on item the internet hasn't already beaten into the ground, ad nauseam."

"My Gmail account is full. I can't get any more email." "So?" "I'll miss email. It was so old-timey. You could write hundreds or even thousands of words, with actual paragraphs." "People didn't see any little animations to show them you were typing. They had to actually wonder if you were going to reply." "And the spam was fun. You never got to hear from Nigerian princes while you're checking your texts." "Just delete stuff." "If you delete a few gigs of old emails, you'll be able to get n

'I don't believe in hoarding cash and gold Dad: I invest in shares online...'

"For far too long, we've missed out on the opportunity to profit from our videos."

"Let's talk more about your valuation policy."

"I just realized what our problem is - we're fungible."

The Miracle Worker

National Archives

'Yes I read the report that they filed for bankruptcy. Don't read too much into that,'

You know that symphony I wrote in GarageBand? It drops next week. You're invited. Symphonies don't "drop," little buddy. Rock albums "drop." R&B "drops." Symphonies "debut." And they usually debut in concert halls, with live musicians. Where's your symphony debuting? Anybody-can-upload-anything-for-people-to-download.com. I wonder if I can get my tux pressed in time.

'Careful with this next patient. He's not very litigious but he is a prolific online reviewer.'

'I have here a list of websites you failed to delete from your hard drive...'

"Oh dear, it seems your file has been routinely destroyed."

"I can tell much more about you if I read your Palm Pilot."

The Artist Share of the Golden Goose Internet

A businessman suffering from data overload.

"They see you when you're sleeping - They know when you're awake..."

Asset management over development.

Conducting a blue bird.

"And I leave all my digital data to. . ."

Alexa, Alexa, on the shelf, am I still the hottest MILF?

"You will be the man responsible for our digital content."

Substitute Music Teacher Phil, A non-musician, performs for his students: 'My next selection is something I will now download from the Internet.'

Computer Four Hands.

"Of course your data isn't really in a cloud. That's almost as silly as thinking your money is actually in this bank."

Computer Crimes

Surely there's an easier way of moving files?'

"One day this will all be yours, Dad"

"And on the 5th day, God's agent negotiated digital content rights..."

"This isn't going to look good on my website."

"Alexa, give me the meaning of life..."

'Concerns about our data management are misplaced...our new system is very robust Miss Pettigrew.'