Device Upgrader Pillows

Sir, your latest research troubles me. It['s irrefutable. You and Armstrong regularly upgrade your devices at precisely the same time of the month. Your upgrade cycles are synchronized. Nonsense. That suggests I have no control over when I upgrade. I'm not some drone who upgrades without even thinking about ... uh oh. You were saying, drone?

Are you saying I have no control over when I upgrade my devices? In effect. You've got some kind of subconscious internal clock that drives you to regularly buy a new phone, or TV, or video game console. And there's nothing I can do about it? So it would seem. How freeing. Does this revelation come with a new credit line? Go away.

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

My new laptop is nicer than your new laptop. I'm not going to get into a competition about whose new laptop is nicer. The one I replaced is nicer than the one you replaced. Stop it.

'Zeb, don't you reckon it's time you took that pig into town and traded him for some decent Wi'-Fi?'

"I don't know who will be obsolete first, me or my computer."

1080P New Year's Resolution

" 'Obselete' means any software the company bought last year for multi-megabucks."

"I upgrade then it's obsolete and I have to upgrade again! As soon as I upgrade I have to upgrade again! Upgrade! Upgrade!! Always upgrade!!"

Rudy, am I correct that you and Armstrong each just upgraded your laptops? Yeah, so? And last month, if I'm not mistaken, you and Armstrong each upgraded your phones. Again, so? Don't you see what's happened to you and Armstrong? You've synchronized your cycles. What? Your upgrade cycles! They're in sync! What in the world are you talking about? What in the world indeed?!

I can be upgraded, can you?

'I'm too busy installing updates to figure out any practical application for them.'

A fish jumping from a tank that reads "Tropical fish $5.00" into a tank that reads "Tropical fish $20.00"

"It's quite alright searching for the perfect phone. But remember there always will be upgrades."

'Couldn't you just leave that here until we're sure the new system works?'

"Wherever he is, I know he'll be upgraded."

'I'm sorry Sherman, you're dumped. I could never go out with sombody who uses out of date tech.'

It's the Fad Herald. I should've upgraded my phone. Hear ye. Today, a special announcement. The following is now in: Hope. Until further notice, that tingly, expectant feeling you're experiencing may be interpreted as optimism, mild euphoria, the illusion of better times ahead. Wow. Now that you mention it. Cool. Wait ... What do you man by illusion? Looking ahead to 2020 trends: Disappointment. Nah. We'll be fine, I'm sure.

'It's for the office computer. It's been replaced.'

"Definitely time for an upgrade."

"I think you need to update your mobile device."

"If you're going to use a TV as your computer monitor, I suggest investing in a new model."

"Our smart home just texted us. It said instead of binge watching shows, we should be updating it. It wants us to start with the kitchen."

'Let's just see how intuitive this software really is.'

'Combination 3.0 dinner is also available in an upgraded version 3.1.'

"I wish I hadn't rushed out and bought this model, your new model is much better!"

'Which of us can resist the technological advance?'

Before and After an Update

"Your new operating system has rendered all your applications and peripherals inoperable"

'It's not directed at you. Most of us have to upgrade our computers a month after buying them.'

STRIP Hambone: 'We've finally paid off the �23,000 on this one...'

'How do you do it? You don't look a day over 3G!'

'Someday, son, you will have to make the hard decisions, buy new or upgrade.'

"Why didn't they do all these updates at the computer factory?"

"I've managed to beat the taxman, I had a coffee in Starbucks, upgraded my Vodaphone and did some shopping on Amazon."