Device Developer Prints

To: Rudy Park. From: Lemont Brown. What're you up to these days, Brother Park? That depends. If we're talking the SimCity game I began back when we were in college in '93 … I'm up to 14 linked quad-core RAID devices that take up the whole basement. That's not what I meant. It's costing me a fortune, but I've been playing the same game for so long that I'm pretty sure my 59 billion Sims have become sentient and worship me as a deity. I meant how do you spend your time these days? Working. I've go

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

The Computer Bore

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

"I bet you're curious about what's going on in the R&D Department."

Bright idea

'We manufacture micro computing circuits. We're looking to hire someone who can anticipate the next small thing.'

Back to work...

"My mom programmed my toothbrush to follow me until I use it. It's cruel but effective."

Friday

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

GPC needs to make its new formula foolproof.

"It's me. I'm calling in sick of it."

'Does it bother anyone else that our entire business is based on one questionable product?'

"I need a simple fix. No one asked you to reinvent the wheel."

"Now that we have these Earthlings in our power, we can take over this planet!"

You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it.

"I know R&D feels that the product warrants at least two 'really'."

"What these product ideas lack is a little bite."

Now if we can just figure out how to use this to power that.

"Are we overthinking this?"

'The boss said to get rid of all the pirated software before he returns, which will be in about five to ten years.'

Engineer on the move.

Food manufacturing industry in a soup.

'We haven't the foggiest what it does,but it plugs into a computer and retails for three fifity.'

'So, picture a family entering church in their Sunday finest, They sit down and suddenly,,,'

'I know what we need to turn this around, a mindless product that will make money fly out of peoples pocketbooks!'

The Ordered List

'Now, for the hyperactive, we've come up with a lethargy drink.'

"Not bad, but it has a sort of plastic aftertaste."

"How about this? We carpet the road and use the resultant static electricity to power our electric cars."

"I'm afraid you neglected to submit the proper development permit application."