Demotion Pillows

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

Yes, I was a senior executive here, but I made a fool of myself at an office Christmas party.

'Due to the recent 'fire' incident, you'll no longer be carrying the torch for this company.'

'How do you like the new cubicle?' - 'Can I have my old office back please.'

'Remember,you meet the same people on the way down the ladder as you do on the way up. Which is great. You get to step over them in two directions.'

"I miss the good old days when I was the rainmaker."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Where your mind & battle are los

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'Let's not go by the book.'

Butterfly Woman

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

Killer Executive Suits.

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

In basket-case.

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

Others will fight for you

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

'Manager. . . Commander. . . Chieftain. . . King!'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

'You wanna play another round?' 'Sure....tender, another round!'

Or as I prefer to call it, the 'feel-good' factor.