Defender Against Stereotypes T-Shirts

"So I guess you're taking a lot of lip from people these days."

Cats = Zen, Dogs = Men

"Say 'eh.'"

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

"Men can keep a secret, but it takes a woman to tell them that it was supposed to be a secret!"

Girl who can't cook meets guy who can't fix stuff.

"Why won't you cuddle?"

"You'll never make it as a doctor with handwriting like this. I understood every word."

"Sorry? I wasn't listening."

'You may be the best man for the job, but I have a dozen women who are better qualified.'

"It's people like you who are ruining rock and roll for the rest of us."

Shall I be mother?

Macho Vegetarian

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

"Why would I care if you're not a pure breed? That's a human concern! Sure, I'll go out with you tonight..."

'School of secondary sex characteristics'

"I'm not just cleaning up - it's part of a conversation I'm having with Mum."

Disparate housewives.

"Despite my best efforts, you're still the man and I'm still the woman."

'I'd like to get in touch with my feminine side, Joe -- bring me a Bloody Mary.'

"Oh, stop self-stereotyping, woman!"

24 Words for Melting Snow

"Good Dad, Bad Dad"

It's an unwritten law. Guys can like only two kinds of flowering plants - a cactus with thorns or that one that eats flies.

"You think you have it bad? I look like this and I don't know anything about technology."

'Chief, do you swear not to speak with a forked tongue?'

"So we've got the cute Asian and they did the student that was the old out of shape ex military type?"

'Honestly Fred, we're only here for the day trip.'

"We begin the day hammering. Then there's 'Regis and Kathie Lee.' Then we do some more hammering, followed by lunch and 'Days of Our Lives,' more hammering, 'Oprah,' and, finally, home."

"Two months in France and Spain gave me the courage to smoke again."

Why Men Get Angry and Why Women Get Angry

You're right, judge: I don't have a legal leg to stand on. Obviously, I need to lie down in your chambers before I fall over. Why don't you look in on me in a few minutes?

'Just because I'm a weasel, people assume I'm not trustworthy...'

Foreigners in Paris - Foreigners staring at one another believing the other to be Parisian

"I found out something last night that just totally destroyed my worldview."