Dealing With Shopping Addiction Pillows

"Any chance you could block the Home Shopping Network?"

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

"I shop, therefore I am."

How Amazon was invented

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.

"Do you remember ordering 1,345 cans of tuna?"

Smart card.

Woman uses an ATM with buttons for: Grocery, Leverage Buyout, Start Up Capital, Shop Till You Drop.

"Hey, I just got a burst of consumer confidence- let's go buy something."

"You get one every time you order something online."

'Turn we women loose in the malls - that'll stimulate the economy.'

'I went to see a personal shopper this afternoon. . . I thought I'd surprise you!'

"I've been window-shopping..."

"What kind of bra are you looking for?"

Shopping Torture

Mall Ahead - Be prepared to shop.

'Don't forget to delete cookies when you shop online!!"

"I balance my manic compulsive buying with manic buyer's remorse."

I brake for all 50 off Sales.

"Wait, Daddy! I'm that window’s target audience!"

"She used to shop until she dropped, but with online shopping, we lost that protection."

'It was an impulse buy Mary. At 75 percent off in the New Year sale AND free home delivery. . .'

Twenty-first century baby walker

Complaints (just kidding).

"When they guaranteed delivery anywhere, anyplace, they weren't kidding."

It says 'item is returnable if repackaged exactly as sent.'"

Serious Competition: Thingymajigs vs Watchamacallits.

"We save all the original packaging in case we have to return something."

Shoe Outlet

When online orders are delivered late...

I knew it was a mistake letting you sign up for Amazon Primate. Bananas.

I can't believe you bought an air guitar on eBay! (Published originally on December 18, 2007.)

'Let me through please! That sale ends today!'

'Well, that's the lot, Miss Jones - you're fired!'

'You can have these for nothing. They're the same ones you had on when you came in.'