
"Your condition is so rare it wouldn't be economical to look for a cure"
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"Your condition is so rare it wouldn't be economical to look for a cure"
"Sometimes it helps to turn a question around. Why not you?"
"Unfortunately there's no HMO for what you have"
'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'
'Yes I'm afraid this room is bugged, but don't worry, it's just Clostridium Difficile'
Flo discovered that one of the perks of cancer was that even reluctant friends were willing to give her foot massages,
'There are some things they don't teach you in medical school. I think you've got one of those things.'
Flo figured that since she was using medical marijuana during chemo, she might as well go hippy retro.
Flo discovered that one perk of cancer is that people treat her like a queen.
'Please don't interupt-we've only got 45 minutes.'
"You'll have to take this medication for the rest of your life, but don't worry it's non-addictive."
"Instead of days, my pill organizer is divided into months."
'By 'fight the good fight' I don't mean you fight against it.'
'I'm the doctor - I'll decide what's chronic!'
'Medical researcher have isolated the gene that makes us want to discuss our ailments with anyone we meet.'
"The doctors call it Polymyositis, but I call it 'Military Arthritis' because it comes with a lot of fatigue."
"The bad news is he only has two minutes to live, the good news is it's in football time.""
'It's so rare you'll need your own teleton.'
"Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be... oh, never mind."
"I'm not sure the extent of it really comes across in a Zoom consultation, doctor."
'Now this quack wants me to see a specialist- what the hell is a PATHOLOGIST'
Alzheimer's Amusement Park
National Asthma Society Parade
"Forget railway season tickets. Stick to day returns from now on."
"Don't you think it's time to admit to yourself that this rash will not clear up on it's own."
'If it has the word 'ectomy' after it, I've already had it.'
"He was a prolific writer who made a lot of mistakes and eventually lost his mind. It all sounds so pointless."
Life and Death.
'Let's see if he makes it through the night. Could you hold off updating his Facebook page until then?'
'If you're bored do some writing.You could start by writing your will.'
"Hopefully my body language tells you all you need to know."
Cold Call
"I don't feel so good, Tia Carmen."
"Do you think there's life after death, doc?"
"The worse part is, I paid the doctor in advance."
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