Dealing With Health Insurance Issues Prints

Good Luck With the American Health-Care System

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

'Your cat scan looks fine, your pet scan looks fine, your MRI looks fine, but your insurance reimbursement doesn't look fine.'

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

'Stop! Don't try to move him until we get his insurance information!'

'I don't know which health issue should concern me more - the voices in my head or the fact that I need a hearing aid to hear them.'

Medicare: More is Better!

' And just when you thought it couldn't get any worse...'

Tax grab.

'I'm can't tell if this card from our insurance company is optimistic encouragement or a threat!'

"Well the good news is that according to your insurance there is nothing wrong with you."

'I really should have paid more attention to the company's health care coverage options before I accepted a job here.'

'The biopsy is tiny, but it will cost you an arm and a leg.'

"Your prognosis is tied to the outcome of the election."

"Armstrong, you're the cheapest cheapskate on earth." "Not yet, but a man can dream." "This toothache is killing me but I have no money and no insurance. Do you know where I can find a really cheap dentist?" "Of course. I can give you my guy's name. He works for peanuts." "I’ll get a pen." "You’ll also need a passport and lots of penicillin."

"Your insurance only pays for us to put wheels on this thing."

Medical Bills.

'Bill, I'm sorry to hear about your going into the hospital. Is it a MALE problem?'

GALLSTONE SPECIALIST: This too shall pass

"You can rest assured, Mrs. Wilson, that your husband will receive the best care known to medical coverage."

'The good news is your HMO has waived your co-payment on the autopsy.'

"For healthy older patients like yourself who are running out of money, I prescribe red meat, fat, and booze."

"Happy birthday. They were out of bourbon so I got you those underpants you can pee in."

"The worse part is, I paid the doctor in advance."

"The police want to ask you a few questions about where you get such good health insurance at such an affordable rate."

'Sweet! Money to pay my health insurance premium!'

Doctor uses his stethoscope on the patient's wallet.

"Doctor, could you prescribe something that will help me figure out my part D drug coverage?"

'It's bad news, but for a small fee we can make it sound like good news.'

'This can't be right...I went private some time ago.'

"Insurance doesn't cover these sessions. Now...don't your other problems seem insignificant?"

'You look sick. Why don't you see your health insurance underwriter to see what he'll allow your doctor to prescribe?'