Deal-making Afficionado Mugs

"The usual day. We took over somebody, then somebody took us over."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

'I'm 60-40 in favor of the 60.'

"Anyway, we'd love to have You on board for the Creighton deal."

"...That's agreed then, we raise our salaries by 40%..."

"I always cry at mergers."

It's a deal. You give me five analysts, three pundits, seven technicians and a soothsayer. I give you six experts, five professors, four consultants and a prognosticator.

...and if the Chairman rings, find out who he is.

'No hostile takeover bids beyond this point.'

'Someone come and mediate our argument about mediation!'

'Why don't we try a renegotiated buyout offer before we go with the Plague of Rabid Bats thing.'

"Remember, negotiating is like buying fruit. You don't know what you'll get until you squeeze 'em a bit."

'The trick is to be gentle yet firm in negotiations. I prefer soft money and hard liquor.'

'In conclusion, the supplier who can repeat this phrase fastest with least mistakes wins the catering contract...'

"I came, I saw I takeovered."

"Don't anybody move: this is a merger."

'The business is worth $125,000, tops. We expect Google to offer us three billion.'

Soooo, you want to play hardball.

"So...were they open to negotiations?"

'We structured the deal so that you'll need a lawyer to explain it.'

'Sorry for interrupting. I didn't realize you were still trying to hammer out an agreement.'

"I told you negotiations would be more fun without a battery of lawyers."

'So, anyone have any idea how we go about explaining how we made a hostile takeover bid for one of our own subsidiaries?'

'I think you should know I'm listening to offers from other Santas.'

"Yeah, I'm okay. Just picking up the pieces after a traumatic investment."

N.I. Protocol Explained

Gross Outrage.

Hostile take-over.

"Perhaps we can arrive a a mutually beneficial arrangement?"

'The last walk-out was very painful for me. I suffered a fractured bonus.'

'After two days of mediating, it turned out that the telephone company exectuives were negotiating with the union from Westinghouse.'

'Lots of give and take in that negotiation...they took and we gave.'

Negotiator is a boxer with clout.