Deal Maker In Distress T-Shirts

Sour Grapes

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

Do you want to win the game or my business?

'The school. My counselor told me to make the most of it...'

"You are aware that we try to make money here, yes?"

"He'll never win this negotiation. He's saddled with numbers...but we have anecdotes."

"Does it ever cross your mind that we make a lot of money because no one else wants to do what we do?"

'Now think, Harris, what did you do different on that day?'

'First, the Rules of Engagement for this meeting ...'

Boy sits at father's desk at work and says on phone: 'OK, I'll have my boys call your boys ..'

It's a deal. You give me five analysts, three pundits, seven technicians and a soothsayer. I give you six experts, five professors, four consultants and a prognosticator.

...and if the Chairman rings, find out who he is.

"I'll split my candy with you if you take me Trick or Treating."

'No hostile takeover bids beyond this point.'

Worldwide Global Conglomerate, Takeover Division: 'FRIENDLY',,,'HOSTILE',

'The trick is to be gentle yet firm in negotiations. I prefer soft money and hard liquor.'

"Remember, negotiating is like buying fruit. You don't know what you'll get until you squeeze 'em a bit."

'No thanks. I never sign a sales deal at the door.'

'Nobody gets to the point quicker than Ron!'

"I came, I saw I takeovered."

We're looking at a six figure return. Unfortunately, they're all zeros.

"Don't anybody move: this is a merger."

Garage Sales Anonymous

"Grandma is included in the purchase price."

"Souls are a dime a dozen. The best I can give you is ten free dance lessons."

'Sorry for interrupting. I didn't realize you were still trying to hammer out an agreement.'

'Would you like to see my sales presentation from where you're sitting? Or would you feel more comfortable in a head lock?'

'So, anyone have any idea how we go about explaining how we made a hostile takeover bid for one of our own subsidiaries?'

Unglamourous job, but with massive rewards. How about the city?

"Instead of BOGOFS, I'm going to implement FUCOFS."

London underground talks continued

'Now that we've lulled you with our no-haggle sales policy, our finance manager will apply heavy arm twisting for dealer add-ons.'

" know a bargain when I see one!"

'Make it seven beans and you got yourself a deal.'