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"You know what I like about power? It's so damn empowering."

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

"National security adviser"

"These few weeks off school have convinced me that I'm definitely a stay-at-home kid."

"Hold everything! I just thought up a terrific loophole!"

Man on left - 'What do you call a public servant who spends half their time doing private work?' Man on right - 'An MP?'

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

"Dad, why does a huge beast like that let such a small bully control it?"

"Son, you're old enough now to learn about something we call 'compliance'...."

Fiscal cliff

'The Parkinson would be good PR, but should I wear the hair shirt or the sackcloth and ashes?'

'I know the Oval Office is in the West Wing. I wonder what mischief goes on in the East Wing?'

"Will you two stop giggling every time I say 'assets'?"

"It's part of a deal I worked out with the I.R.S."

The Filibuster.

'I stopped paying attention to polls since a poll showed voters prefer someone who ignores the polls.'

Man about executive: 'Success went to his head. There was plenty of room there.'

"Surprisingly, it's not in reverse order."

"You know how to whistle don't you Steve, you just put your lips together and blow. . . but I wouldn't recommend it."

"Great work on the annual report, John. It's fact-driven, yet delightfully unencumbered by reality!"

'Frankly, I don't know if I feel like having a cup of coffee or trying to misappropriate some funds.'

'Why aren't you guys profiling minorities like other las enforcement agencies?'

The institute.

'Offshoring is the future and I'm afraid we've founds a lawyer in Mumbai whose 46% better at being you for half the cost.'

'Well, well. You made more money last year than you did the year before -- You people never learn, do you?'

"The tip jar is not for me. It's for the U.S. Budget Deficit."

Early American Executive Washroom

". . . 5. . . 4. . . 3. . . 2 . . . 1. . . Ok that's enough time infront of the painting. You may go in and see him now."

GOP surprise.

'It doesn't say anything about gift tax, son. It just says the Magi came bearing gifts.'

'I assume you have paper work to back up all these time travel business expenses.'

"Let's just issue last year's annual report and see if anyone notices."

'Of course I believe you ... numbers never lie.'

'We finally found the source of all those wikileaks!'