Daughter's Birthday Pillows

"Can you just give it to me for free? My daughter's birthday is tomorrow and she will literally STARVE if we don't have it. You don't even have kids! What could you possibly need the money for? How heartless can you be? My daughter's birthday is ruined now. Either give it to me or sell it to someone else and give me what they paid you!! Oh and YOU drop it off. I live about 700 miles away."

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

Robot Parts $5

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

Butterfly Woman

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

'I have this fear of the real world...'

I should be a writer when I grow up...

Skipping Horse

Remote control pirate bully

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

'When I grow up, I want to be a hydraulic engineer...'

'What would your mum say if she saw you drawing all over the wall like that?'

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

Big Bang Theory.

"Actually, make that a double cream."

'Hmph. College kids.'

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'