Dating Dynamo Mugs

"Can I trouble you for a sexual favor?"

"Would you like to meet Kate? She's an acceptable risk."

"In case there aren't any sparks, I loaded up on actual fireworks."

'Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.'

'I'm happy you brought a friend, but did she have to be a lesbian?'

'Thanks for driving me home, Jimmy... I'd invite you for a drink but unfortunately I ran out of condoms...'

"I'm not one to wear my heart on my sleeve, but here's my respiration, blood pressure and pulse on my wrist!"

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

Romance

'You have her home by midnight, now!'

"I got a red card for not having enough fun!!"

'Between the school assignments, sports classes, and dance lessons, I hardly have any time to spend with my dolls.'

'Usually when a man promises me a fish dinner, I naturally assume it will be at a nice restaurant.'

"I've been on a diet for 5 weeks and can safely tell you that I've lost 5 weeks."

"I'm not ready to put you on my favorites contact list, but I will add you to a group text."

'The kids are on a hunger strike, I'm on a diet, and you're on your own.'

Obese man using a exercise machine. His false teeth are flying out.

"The character I'm playing has Alzheimer's disease. So, I'm bound to forget my lines occasionally!"

'I have a very demanding and stressful job. I'd quit but the stress caused me to lose two dress sizes.'

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

'I like it!'

Make a decision or Delegate?

Lady Gaga.

'Stinkin low carb housing.'

Overeaters anonymous meeting 9 to 10pm

"I avoid stress by delegating it all to my staff."

Blind man being dragged along by the dog catches van as his guidedog is in the back still attached to the lead

Dietitian: Weighting Room.

Tube men dancing.

'Plan A and B involve you taking the fall for me.'

I've got an attention span of a what are we having for dinner?

'Losing thirty pounds has added a new dimension to my life-fear of gaining it back.'

'He's a nice guy, but he doesn't bite, if you know what I mean.'

'Just give him the tip, Harold.'

"Before I ask you out. . . you're not a murderer, are you?"