Dating Diary Writer T-Shirts

'I'm looking for a man who enjoys long walks on the beach... so he has something to do while I'm shopping.'

"I think the ants are mooning me again."

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

'I need someone who is willing to make a commitment not someone who's just interested in ruffling my feathers.'

"I'm not against going to couples therapy, but it feels weird to do it on a first date."

She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.

Dear Diary, 36 weeks on this island and I'm starting to feel that I'll never get rescued."

"If someone winks a you forty or fifty times, are they coming on to you?"

"I had half a date last weekend."

'Crabs, sharks, octopi...'

"You're not at all like your answering machine."

"Today we will focus on how the author makes the same exact complaints about here life, from her sixth birthday and on."

Sponge Blog

Mystic Writes 2014 Diary

"Before we take this any further, I'd like us to open about our internet history."

"I want someone whose inner pain is totally hot."

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

"I see the gastric bypass seems to be working."

"I can tell when you're just kissing me to get some of my lip balm, Josh."

'You want to understand women?...I granted you a wish, not a miracle!'

Avoid boys who spend more on hair products than you do!

The Subpoenaed Diaries Of Anïs Nin

'You asked her to go out with you?', 'Yes, but she says there's a lengthy approval process.'

'Girls! I won't understand them if I live to be six.'

Cheapskate b*****d told me he'd laid on a box for me to watch the races.

"I'm guessing it's too soon in the relationship for me to totally creep you out."

"He's either 'still water runs deep' or an oxygen-depleted dead zone."

Marilyn Monroe's secret diary

"So - we meet at last."

'Well? Where is this mystery man we've been hearing so much about?'

Personal Ads: '...Men seeking anything that will stay still long enough.'

"He was the answer to my prayers. The answer was 'No'."