Data Magician T-Shirts

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

Those graphs really do disguise this year's true results. Well done.

"Ralph's over-interpreting the data again."

'The Sales Figures for this month aren't looking too healthy - any ideas?'

Propping up a profits chart.

"Crunch the numbers to dust so I can tell the auditor that the answers are blowing in the wind."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'How fast can you hype?'

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

The Life of Pi

"Thank you for that summation of the charts."

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

"Remember Mr. Cockbundle is not just a 'customer', he is an important source of valuable and readily marketable data."

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

'The path to becoming an astronaut is rougher than I thought.'

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

If Disney was a software company

"I love your optimism."

'At the sales department, we've got to meet our performance targets. We're not here to care about reality.'

'From an aesthetic perspective, it has heart, beauty and intrigue, but is it a viable process design?'

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

Bottom line, is that the sweet smell of success or your aftershave?

"Well, you say it's wrong, but it could be correct in an alternative universe."

"Well, I'm studying mathematics and I'm sure that's tougher than math."

Real data visualization specialists are 100% committed to their profession.

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

'These latest figure are encouraging...'

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

Aggression/Security