Data Dominator T-Shirts

'...and what's more, my databank has more data than your databank.'

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

Fear/Knowledge

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

'If I may say so, business is booming.'

A woman wearing a skin sitting behind a desk with a nameplate that reads "Sheena, Queen of the corporate jungle."

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

Big Data Tonight

'As I see it, our choices are 'no' and 'hell no'.'

Privacy Conference Security

Why do you need so many computers?

"The date protection policy is all about access to information, and we all know information is POWER!"

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

'I have created the first interactive pile of paperwork.'

"My Gmail account is full. I can't get any more email." "So?" "I'll miss email. It was so old-timey. You could write hundreds or even thousands of words, with actual paragraphs." "People didn't see any little animations to show them you were typing. They had to actually wonder if you were going to reply." "And the spam was fun. You never got to hear from Nigerian princes while you're checking your texts." "Just delete stuff." "If you delete a few gigs of old emails, you'll be able to get n

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

'How do we know the NSA hasn't hacked your naughty list?'

Workers are running out of one door labeled 'Reactive Business Intelligence,' while another worker in the next room sits calmly behind a door with a sign that reads, 'Proactive Business Intelligence.'

"I've entered your PIN for you. "

Dust Bunny

"Why does it always have to represent something?"

Records?

"This universal remote is awesome. It controls the tv, cable, stereo, computer, garage door. . ."

"Is this piece of artwork or a chart of current market trends?"

"We've stared at the election map for so long it's become a Magic Eye poster."

"They're worse than carpenter ants. We have hacker ants."

She never said "Da-da." She went right to "data."

"We need a better piling system."

'I have the MRI scan of your brain. The right hemisphere is clogged with computer passwords.'

'We have to be forthright with the public. We have to have their confidence. We have to convince them we're working for the common good. Then we can invade their privacy.'

"No, I'm not writing a short story. That's my password."

'Gimme all your cache!'