Data Dealer Pillows

"Buy my data $20"

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

Fear/Knowledge

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

'If I may say so, business is booming.'

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

Big Data Tonight

Privacy Conference Security

"Okay, I'll renew your contract and raise you five sick days."

"The date protection policy is all about access to information, and we all know information is POWER!"

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

Real data visualization specialists are 100% committed to their profession.

Today's love

'How do we know the NSA hasn't hacked your naughty list?'

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

Workers are running out of one door labeled 'Reactive Business Intelligence,' while another worker in the next room sits calmly behind a door with a sign that reads, 'Proactive Business Intelligence.'

'Once again, I fold.'

'...and what's more, my databank has more data than your databank.'

"It goes from the factory to us in $29,500."

"Why does it always have to represent something?"

'Have your people facebook my people.'

'Why do you always win at cards but not horses? I can't shuffle the horses.'

"They're worse than carpenter ants. We have hacker ants."

She never said "Da-da." She went right to "data."

"Is this piece of artwork or a chart of current market trends?"

General Motors.

"We've stared at the election map for so long it's become a Magic Eye poster."

'I have the MRI scan of your brain. The right hemisphere is clogged with computer passwords.'

'We have to be forthright with the public. We have to have their confidence. We have to convince them we're working for the common good. Then we can invade their privacy.'

"No, I'm not writing a short story. That's my password."

'Gimme all your cache!'