Customer Support Agent Prints

'Your job will be to stand in there and say 'So what?''

I'm on live chat support, phone support, email support and text support - and they all have me on hold.

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!

Telephone in a computer screen.

"This is customer support, or as we call it, the eighth circle of hell."

Man kicking door down.

Complaints.

'Wizzo Wotsits - how can I help you? Just putting you through to customer services. . .'

Man dies unnoticed in his office cubicle

"What do you mean - you don't know?"

"We're not gonna lie... Your call really isn't that important to us"

Complaints Dept

"'Customer care' involves more than reading the memo..."

"Wait a minute - these are just the Ten Commandments of great customer service."

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

"My email is down... talk to me."

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

Online form - Submit.

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"What do I do to relieve stress? I meditate, about not working here."

"You know, there are other emojis."

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

'No, Mr. Simmons, your MR images aren't in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.'

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.

"Remember Mr. Cockbundle is not just a 'customer', he is an important source of valuable and readily marketable data."