Customer Service Analysts Mugs

Neither snow, nor rain, nor heat....

'In order to maintain good customer service, make sure you let someone know if you are going to the restroom.'

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!

'After the tone, please leave your name and number.'

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

"I meant the dog!"

Good morning, Boss. What're you going to do about it, Park? Are you just going to complain, or are you going to come up with an actionable plan. Complainers never do, Park, and doers never complain. I wasn't actually complaining. Our patrons buy 65% less cocoa on sunny days.

Telephone message - 'This is a recording. If you'd like to speak to a real live human being, forgetaboutit.

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

Payback Time

"Stop whinging and man up!" "Our new AI complaints management system still needs a bit of work."

What if retail stores behaved like websites?

"I'm afraid that due to a recent reorientation of forward facing customer resource functionality you're going to have to make the complaint to yourself... in triplicate."

Boss and worker communicating in exclaimation marks.

"You may ask your questions only when I call your name. Don't waste my time with chit-chat. I don't have all day. Got that?"

"Don't make me send over the bad waitress."

Yo-Yo Sales

'The customers' suggestions make a lot of sense. I say, let's hire the customers and fire the staff!'

Sales Research shows it's too big for them to carry home, sir.

Would you like something from the bar, miss? It looks like you might need it.

Automated customer service.

"I'm considering going client side. That way I can still be an a*****e and actually get away with it."

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

Man dies unnoticed in his office cubicle

'A ground ball to deep short, handled beautifully by Santana...'

"Well, buddy....a lot of people are missing that. Just look at the social media comments."

'Getting other people's toddler's leftovers on a highchair is one thing, but getting their toddler, too, is another.'

'With my new phone I can lie out of both side of my mouth 24/7.'

'Hold on, he's back again.'

It's good news when an agent says "This is a big break" to an aspiring actor. But not good when said by an orthopedic surgeon holding your x-ray! It's jarring when your business partner says "We're going under while he's looking at the books. But it's very routine when said by a submarine captain speaking to the crew. "You're on fire" is nice to hear when you're playing an excellent round of golf. But not what you want to hear when you're grilling burgers. "A thumb on the scale" often mean

"I'm the nice huggy lady from the government."

"We need to talk about your driving. Some of your passengers have been complaining."

"Never mind - we waited so long that we ordered pizza from the place across the street!"

Customer tangled up in velvet rope is trying to ring bell for help.

"The Sales Department suggests we teach Customer Service personnel how to assist customers without telling them where to go."