Customer Care Conundrums Prints

'That's waht I'd call 'Performance'! Our customers went from simple complaints to bomb threats!'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

Maybe it's now time to review our customer care strategy!"

'Alternatively you can just focus on the CUSTOMER!'

"Take this mission statement and rewrite it so that it sounds like we care about our customers."

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

"If you want to talk to someone uninterested, press 1..."

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

'A formal inquiry could take months, sir, and still be inconclusive.'

'You've got to give it to Jim, there's nothing he won't do for his customers.'

Is there anyone here from 'customer care'? Could you tell them I'll ring back as soon as I've got my new kidney in!

The competition's customer vs our customer.

"Right, shall we delay the discussion on customer care again and look at the urgent issue of declining sales and plummeting profits."

"Don't you DARE argue with me you ***(****) or I'll **** your ****."

"Thank you for calling the honesty foundation, your call in unimportant to us, so leave a message for us to laugh at when you hear the tone..."

City Bank: The bank that sticks with you through thick.

'Do you have this in a smaller size?' - 'Is she nuts! She's way too big for that size. She'll destroy it if she tries it on...but if I don't answer her soon she'll destroy me...'

'Waiter, your tip's getting cold.'

"Yes, who do I punch in the face for overbooking my flight?"

"I don't know how you managed it madam, but you have got though to someone in authority."

"The diet section is located next to the snack bar."

'He certainly knows how to make a customer feel welcome.'

"And that is where we started to focus on customer care."

Heck Support.

"Your issue should be simple to resolve. I'll just go and get someone less qualified to help you."

A Dog Who Never Got His Day.

'Went straight to the top a week after 'Customer Care' started.'

"Roger ALWAYS puts out customers FIRST!"

"We've implemented AI, now if we can develop artificial concern for our customers, we'll have it made."

"I want you to share any concerns you have about customer care and I'll see if I can do anything about your whining not completely destroying your career."

"People are sick of 'automated' systems, they want to talk to real people..."

"When were you thinking of trying to get us to call, luv?"

Central Bank: A Full Service Bank

"The customer is always right. . . even if she is your sister."

'It turned out our customers cared about our customer care policy and they've all gone somewhere else!'