Current Events Curmudgeon T-Shirts

'Why don't you change it to sports or cartoons or something? -- You know CNN just depresses you.'

Schengen

British savings accounts

Build your very own conflict of interest!

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

National Everything Awareness Day

"The best part is that we got hell to pay for it."

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

New Flavors at Where's the Scoop Ice Cream

Roe v. Wade

Reporter #6: television.

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

"Sir, multiple people were stabbed by a terrorist in..."

"Ok, ok, climate change is not a hoax!"

"A newspaper has a responsibility to ensure that its readers are fully informed."

Trump Mask

"... And in Canada today ... nothing happened."

"Trump's America"

"Putin's prime critic was killed. That would never happen in U.S. politics, because nothing gets done here!"

Hide me. Under the table. What's the matter? He's coming. Who. Who??? The wolf! The hairy man. The insatiable and relentless one. Didn't we just finish an election cycle? There he is! Oh no! The 2020 elections are around the corner. Wolf Blitzer! Run! I'll tune in tomorrow. Don't eat me! CNN.

'I have to watch Saturday Night Live, Dad -- it's for my current events homework.'

"It makes me happy that you took time to read the newspaper today."

"See. . .? We did do something."

"The White House Washington"

The Evening News

'What do we do about this online order for 6,000 rounds of ammo, an assault rifle, an automatic handgun and a shotgun?'

"Hey, baby. . .! I'veabout got this thing won. . . Wanna come to my victory party?"

Overdose of election campaign ads on TV.

'Next time you feel like keeping in touch, keep in touch with somebody else.'

'We interrupt this Special Bulletin to give you an even more special bulletin!'

A 9/11 Every Day

Spinochio

Obama slipping on legal details related to Guant?namo Bay

Panama Papers

A cockroach controlling Donald Trump with puppet strings