Curious Strategist Gifts

"There HAS to be a giant ball at the end of all this string."

USAID Octopus Wrapping Around Globe

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

Schrodinger's Black Box

Science Museum. Why are you skeptical about the things scientists say? Because they claim the universe is expanding but when I visited my childhood hometown, everything was smaller.

"We offer a generous flex time policy - you can work your 90 hours per week any way you'd like."

"When I get to Heaven, will I still have to clean my room?"

'She'll never look for me here.'

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

Corporate Ethics Department, how may I help you?

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

"But will it distract the public's attention enough that they mindlessly buy our products?"

"The economy's been worsening for a while, but people still don't feel it, Rudy." "...Which means we still have time to get in on the despair action." "Despair action"? "We're going to expand our menu. Add more comfort foods, more 'sale' items, debt consolidation loans..." "Nobody's dumb enough to get a debt consolidation loan from some random guy." "Ha ha hoo hoo hee-"

'I wonder how Curious George fits into all this?'

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" "Nothing. I'm going into stem cell research."

'Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study.'

'See, dear, you can't believe everything you read. It says so right here on the internet!'

'The bad news is that our company is bankrupt. The good news is that we're only morally bankrupt.'

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

'It works all the time: Light a candle and dinner comes to you...'

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

'Can you debunk my essay?'

'I am constantly diversifying my toy portfolio.'

'You can't win - a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but ignorance is no excuse!'

Philosophy Test Today. This "Meaning of Life" question -- is that essay or true-false?

"Yes, I'm sure that going to school isn't the same as eating from the Tree of Knowledge."

"Do I need to know this stuff to get into medical school?"

Noughts and crosses hugging and kissing.

"Saturn. No contest. A deadly, treacherous gas giant ringed by a gossamer halo of ice. It symbolizes both death and life. Both evil and good. It symbolizes existence itself."

"My mommy suggested I try a different advertising approach."