Curious Strategist Gifts

"There HAS to be a giant ball at the end of all this string."

USAID Octopus Wrapping Around Globe

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

Schrodinger's Black Box

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

"We offer a generous flex time policy - you can work your 90 hours per week any way you'd like."

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'She'll never look for me here.'

"When I get to Heaven, will I still have to clean my room?"

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

'I wonder how Curious George fits into all this?'

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

"The economy's been worsening for a while, but people still don't feel it, Rudy." "...Which means we still have time to get in on the despair action." "Despair action"? "We're going to expand our menu. Add more comfort foods, more 'sale' items, debt consolidation loans..." "Nobody's dumb enough to get a debt consolidation loan from some random guy." "Ha ha hoo hoo hee-"

"But will it distract the public's attention enough that they mindlessly buy our products?"

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" "Nothing. I'm going into stem cell research."

'Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study.'

'See, dear, you can't believe everything you read. It says so right here on the internet!'

'The bad news is that our company is bankrupt. The good news is that we're only morally bankrupt.'

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

'Can you debunk my essay?'

'It works all the time: Light a candle and dinner comes to you...'

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

'You can't win - a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but ignorance is no excuse!'

'I am constantly diversifying my toy portfolio.'

'It's called a telescope son. It's sort of like a low-tech search engine.'

"Saturn. No contest. A deadly, treacherous gas giant ringed by a gossamer halo of ice. It symbolizes both death and life. Both evil and good. It symbolizes existence itself."

"Yes, I'm sure that going to school isn't the same as eating from the Tree of Knowledge."

'There goes another one. Galileo, don't you have any idea what makes them do that?'

"Do I need to know this stuff to get into medical school?"

"My mommy suggested I try a different advertising approach."