Cult Tv Fanatic Pillows

'The purple dinosaur fan thinks it's really funny that I watched Captain Kangaroo when I was a kid.'

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

"'Tis but a scratch — in America, I'd still have to go in for work today."

'You've got to help my son, Doctor — he's joined a cult that crawls up on beaches!'

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

As Seen Watching TV

"We can deliver it Tuesday. If no one's home, we'll just slip it under the door."

'Books are okay, except they only get one channel.'

"Let's just binge watch this."

Rosemary's Baby Supplies

'You did your book report on the TV schedule?'

'You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me?'

"The season finale of the world is near."

"A great leader is a dealer in hope, Fenwick. Remember that."

"this week on, 'Celebrity Fear Factor,' contestants are threatened with total anonymity."

The Stay Put Marshmallow man

"It's another one of our neighbors calling to complain. I think your sound bar may be working a little too well."

"All I got was a cake and a card."

'Ready, steady, Operate'

'Dang! Six more hours.'

I think we need to lose the 'Singing Ringing Tree'!

'Did you know that your birthmark links to a cult group that worships cats?'

"Ladies and gentlemen, please direct your attention to the safety presentation. It's the only way you'll know the difference between the harmless scarlet kingsnake and the deadly Eastern coral snake."

'There's nothing worth watching on TV, but he's not going to let a little thing like that stop him.'

Eurovision 2021

'We interrupt this program because the sponsor just went out of business!'

"Well, yes, I am a being made entirely of coleslaw and brought to life by satanic cult members for an as of yet entirely unspecified purpose, but I don't see what that has to do with me buying you a drink..."

"Must be some kind of cult movie."