Culinary Paradox Pursuer Pillows

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

"We can hit any creperie you want, sonny boy."

Ethnic food springing out of a menu.

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

'As far as we know, no one who has eaten our genetically-modified food has turned into a creature or anything.'

"They're going to print a retraction - your desserts are not inconsistent."

Armstrong, an unmarked truck just delivered a pallet of mystery meat. Turkey. It doesn't look like turkey. It looks more like some sort of dehydrated pigeon. What's it matter? If we slap it in a sandwich, smother it in "gravy," and label it "turkey," customers won't know the difference. Wait, did you just think quotes around the word gravy? "no."

"Just keep your eyes closed - it'll only upset you."

"I'll get the onion soup... it's the only thing on the menu that I don't know why it's bad for me!"

"Sure, pal, whatever you say. Ha ha! The salmon is fresh."

'There's a pork roast in the oven and a casserole in the microwave....two minutes on high.'

"And while you're waiting for your drinks can I get you something from the bar?"

'Chef's salad as ordered.'

"It's not fair that ice cream melts, but broccoli doesn't."

'This restaurant has got zero stars, right? Every single one of them is well deserved.'

"I will avenge the underdone fish that ruined my dinner if it's the last thing I ever do."

Southern Spanish Cuisine

"Hold on ... I think a table's about to open up."

Paranormal tips: sandwiches with crop circles may lead to marmalade stains on trousers

HEAD CHEF - A chef collects the heads of the chefs that rank below him.

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"

'I'm sorry about the icy sidewalks Mr. Pizza Guy! Let me get my camera, ok? Just wait a minute.'

"Well, if you're out there 'slaving over a got every every day', how come you never notice the food burning?"

Traditional chefs revolt against new 'Robo-chef'' technology.

"The usual"

'I'll have the chopped steak, without bacterial contamination and without mad cow virus.'

'If I were you I wouldn't eat this on an empty stomach.'

"When you're ready to order, ask for me by name. We work on commission."

'Every time we go out for a steak dinner, Sander thinks he recongnizes...

'See what happens when you let him cook.'

'Here we put the emphasis exclusively on the food!'

'Jamie Oliver has a lot to answer for!'

"Ciel! Supergastronome!"