Culinary Novice Pillows

"I can't make eggplant parmesan. I have plenty of eggs but I'm out of plants."

'I'm not an experienced cook so I use the smoke alarm as my timer!'

'Where do we keep the boiling water?'

'I'm fixing breakfast - how do you like your eggs, black or dark brown?'

The Inexperienced Cook

"Baldo, if you want good Latino food...all you have to do is ask."

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

Baker Romance

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

'My husband made my cake from scratch...even the candles.'

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"

'I was in the catering corps.'

Restaurant Chef with book titled: 'Introduction To Cooking'.

'Seven layers in one dip? Gentlemen, what have we wrought?'

"What's happened to Quiche?"

Feast

"Oh we're fine, my husbands just learning to cook during the quarantine."

The Perfect Foil

Sm. Pepperoni & Mushroom Cloud

"Room for dessert, folks?"