Culinary Literature Lover Gifts

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'Hard to follow...'

'I told you not to complain about the hospital food!'

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

"Then add one extra large egg..."

"Not tonight. Margie wants to watch some guy deep fry a duck on cable."

Never write a sonnet on an empty stomach

"Bill just does celebrity cook-books these days, that's where the real money is."

"I'll bet you're very proud of your handsome, well-behaved little sporks here."

Ordering Food At A French Restaurant.

'Stop him, he's got the receipe.' Duck running away

Where cronuts come from.

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways … Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my ladle can reach … When feeling hungry for the crunch of crouton and ideal lettuce. I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need ... by cheesy bread and chicken wing. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I eat of thee freely, and then, at four, 'tis goodnight. O Sizzler salad bar, how do I love thee? I'm hungry.

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

Pizza with 'Made in China' imprinted on it.

'Would that be rare, or medium rare?'

"How nice. A truffle."

A tureen of chefs

Empty landscape containing food and stationery.

'The crepes of wrath.' 'Joad's mobile pancake store.'

Deviled HamDeviled Eggs.

"I'm not a food critic I'm a literary critic and I've found the prose on your menu to be second-rate."

Anthony Bourdain with Chopsticks

"1 pinch of salt, 3 pinches of baking soda...oh dear, a cup of flour? How many pinches is that?"

"Your father dressed you, didn't he?"

"Ooops...well, at least you now can see that there are a lot of fresh mushrooms in our soup!"

"I'm sorry about the delay, sir, but Chef's anger management class ran over."

"Keep it in the sling and rub hot sauce on our wing every 4 hours."

'Well, that's the last of the garlic repellent.'

Not that one. It's got the chips in it.

'We need more cake shows!'

'Deputy, I asked 'when are you going to a restaurant?' Not 'arrest your aunt'.'

"Potatoes too salty? Look, buster ??" I told you to enjoy your meal!"