Culinary Contradiction Prints

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

We are shaped by what we love! Especially pizza and doughnuts!

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

Man sitting and reading 'Joy of Take Out' book surrounded by take out boxes.

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

The ecumenical dinner party.

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

'I had no idea would be a choice.'

Whiskey wars

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

'As far as we know, no one who has eaten our genetically-modified food has turned into a creature or anything.'

"Steak, Richard, is just grown up veal."

"But you said I should serve our guests the can of peas!"

Bookworm group

Armstrong, an unmarked truck just delivered a pallet of mystery meat. Turkey. It doesn't look like turkey. It looks more like some sort of dehydrated pigeon. What's it matter? If we slap it in a sandwich, smother it in "gravy," and label it "turkey," customers won't know the difference. Wait, did you just think quotes around the word gravy? "no."

"I can't remember if I'm off red meat, or eating nothing but red meat."

"Sure, pal, whatever you say. Ha ha! The salmon is fresh."

"I'll get the onion soup... it's the only thing on the menu that I don't know why it's bad for me!"

"Of course this is a pizza! Man, I've always been a rebel!"

Small Business Advisor - Sports Training in the Restaurant Business.

'This restaurant has got zero stars, right? Every single one of them is well deserved.'

"It's not fair that ice cream melts, but broccoli doesn't."

"I think I'll just leave a hate tip."

"To beat or not to beat."

"Well, I don't care if it is some kind of fancy-schmancy restaurant...if I want ketchup, I'm gonna get ketchup!"

'We don't have menus, sir - the chef thinks they're counterproductive.'

What can I get you? Something light but filling. Flavorful but not too spicy. Healthy but not boring. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Something right in the middle. Neither here nor there. It must walk the line of non-offensive yet opinionated. I wonder if Arby's is taking applications. If I eat a sandwich in the woods and no one is around, do I make a sound?

"Simply put, our 'Nostalgia Special' is the 'Catch' of yesterday."

It's the dinner I didn't make. It's kind of a Zen Thing

'At $12 a glass, I want it to spit out what it drank.'

"Tonight, I feel like eating something controversial."

'Happy Xmas!'

'If I were you I wouldn't eat this on an empty stomach.'