Culinary Comedies Pillows

Sorry!

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'Your French dip, sir.'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"States of tofu"

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

"I don't want to fork. I just want to spoon."

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

Chez Nous Menu

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

6 Brothers Falafel

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

Night of the Latkes

Wok. Don't Wok.

Cookbooks

Wife: 'Ah, honey.....why are you covered in raw fish and rice?' Husband: 'Oh I was running late for the 6:15 and got on a darn sush train by mistake!'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"Tia Carmen, is it okay if my study group meets here tomorrow?"

"Would you like some wings?"

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

"Ninja bread men"

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

Honest Vending