Culinary Comedic Critic Mugs

"Miss! There's a fly in my soup."

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

"States of tofu"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'Your French dip, sir.'

"I don't want to fork. I just want to spoon."

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

Soup of the month.

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"That's it. We’re toast."

Chez Nous Menu

6 Brothers Falafel

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

Wok. Don't Wok.

"Ninja bread men"

"Tia Carmen, is it okay if my study group meets here tomorrow?"

Cookbooks

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

View to the Future

"Would you like some wings?"

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."