Cross-culture Conversationalist T-Shirts

"Gee, I just love the British dry sense of humor!"

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"To be honest, I don't mind the cold, and being an introvert, and slightly antisocial, I really treasure the quiet time when the others have flown south..."

'Yak, yak, yak.'

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

"Do you mind if I bounce something off you?"

My wife's been talking to the skin I shed for over an hour.

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

"No, I don't think you have 'multiple personality disorder'. In fact, I don't think you have a personality at all."

"I've been in the doghouse ever since I tried to get my mother-in-law hanged as a witch."

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

Philosopher's pub with 24 hour thinking.

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."

'I said, 'I'd like to see the chef!''

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

"Want to score some flu shots.?"

'It's not so much you having a cockroach problem - it's more along the lines of us having a human problem.'

'I just like tequila for the worm.'

"I don't mind emotional trauma if I can turn it into a really funny anecdote."

"Frankly, I just want to talk about how great I am non-stop and uninterrupted for 50 minutes every week on a long term basis."

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten

A lesson in wit

"It was a slow day - my pedometer says I only put in 1, 273, 426 steps."

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

"Sofia, right? You hung out in the back of Professor Dillof’s anatomy lectures."

'This month I'll be cooked & my bones ripped apart in a wishing contest.'

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

"Develop your social skills. Share information about yourself so people will want to talk to you." "I like to dissect animals."