Critique Comedian T-Shirts

"You're doing it wrong."

'Hey, maybe you need to work on your writing goodlymoreshun.'

Great literary festival heckles.

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"Amateurs."

A knight sent to kill a dragon armed with a fly swatter

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

"Get off the stage and get a copy of 'Studies of Laughter in Interaction'—I think you'll enjoy it."

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

Non Thought For The Day.

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics! (Published originally on February 9, 2013).

"It's tough to get him moving, but once he's going he never stops."

"I don't like lawyer jokes. Lawyers don't think they're funny and other people don't think they're jokes."

A skip full of fools.

Hedgehog holding sign saying 'the end is nigh' as man invents the wheel.

'There's nothing wrong with him-just delusions of glandular.'

This action stuff is okay, but try a romance or comedy next time.

Sorry, I thought you said you wanted to see 'Parrot Normal Activity'

"Dad, has there EVER been a time when James Corden was funny..?"

"It's supposed to be a comedy, so I've had Steve, here, red-flag the funny parts."

"I never saw 'Cheers,' so I won't miss 'Cheers.'"

"It was so depressing. When I go to the theatre, I want to be entertained."

"What are they complaining about?... The local content is the audience...

'Cohiba is written on here with a Sharpie.'

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

'I'm sorry, you just missed him. Call back in from 5 to 10 years.'

Now showing - "What's the least noisy film we can chat through?"

Rodin's Irish Judge

The day that William Tell bought his first crossbow.

"Gracie, don't worry so much about your big test... You know, when I was your age, I didn't know the meaning of the word 'fear'. Until I looked it up."

"There's a programme about people watching TV on the other channel."

Movie Rated 'R' - Audience Rates 'X'.

"I've been having hallucinations again, Doctor."

"I guess it's an OK job. Minimum wage plus all you can eat. I tried to quit once but couldn't get out the door."