Critics Of Bureaucracy Pillows

NHS Very Direct: 'You have a terminal illness and are going to die. Thanks for your call.'

"I need to see your ID."

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

Quality Control

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

"They found a use for that old paper shredder."

The Buck Never Stops.

"How long were you in the waiting room?"

We're transferring you to company headquarters so you can kiss company hindquarters.

'...And they're giving us sixty million years to get in compliance.'

Bureaucracy gone mad!

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

'Welcome! Highly placed, unidentified administration spokespersons convention.'

DOGE* to English Instant Translator Device

'Would you like the ECG tracing of your father's death? It's the least we can do.'

Doctor surrounded by notes.

'It's not so much the distance to your proposed mini-mall site, but that I'm not as familiar with your galaxy's zoning laws as I'd like to be.'

'I'm not authorized to talk about that...I'll have to patch you through to our department of unspeakable evil.'

"Fill out all these highly intrusive forms...we can't wait!"

"What's this? Now we have to hunt, gather and collate?"

GPs could be forced to switch IT systems onto new NHS digital contract

"You have a valid social security number, a photo ID, and a credit score. As far as I'm concerned, you exist."

Policeman giving paramedics a fine.

How many workers does it take to put up a Christmas decoration?

IN, OUT, NOT WORTH THE EFFORT.

Why the Egyptians stopped building the pyramids.

'There were some cost overruns on the project that we need to discuss.'

'The trouble with you doctors is that you don't really understand what the NHS is for.'

'So, you're a little Hitler? You're hired.'

"This is to apologise for the delay in internal mail that you wrote to us about in 1997"

"Hello, department of pointless endeavors and redundant futility."

I might have granted your loan request, if it wasn't written on a beer mat.

'What do you mean the FDA is going to start regulating the use of eyes of Newts?'

"Ambitions... to finish on the winning side for a change."

The mazes were too easy, so now they have me running through bureaucracies and looking for grants. (Originally published on 2007-10-18).