Criticism Strategist T-Shirts

How to Effectively Manage Criticism.

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." - Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics.

Herman Mankiewicz

Reading my Critics

"Dad, please tell me again about that mass production and consumerism."

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

"VP J.D. Vance called Donald: 'cynical asshole,' a 'moral disaster,' a 'total fraud,' an 'idiot,' and suggested he might be 'America’s Hitler.'"

"You'd think he hated music by the way he tortures it."

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

"We offer a generous flex time policy - you can work your 90 hours per week any way you'd like."

'My door is always open. That's why I installed a tripwire.'

"Never mind, Harry. Just remember, the 'Saturday Review' loved it."

"Maybe I don't like stunning debuts."

Under new blame.

'And from what we've been able to determine, this is the tweak that broke the paradigm's back.'

"We made a miscalculation, but it's consistent with our over-all strategy."

Corporate Ethics Department, how may I help you?

"But will it distract the public's attention enough that they mindlessly buy our products?"

"You're quitting? You're walking out?? Couldn't you have at least waited until I finished outsourcing the company??!"

Coronavirus Windmills

"The economy's been worsening for a while, but people still don't feel it, Rudy." "...Which means we still have time to get in on the despair action." "Despair action"? "We're going to expand our menu. Add more comfort foods, more 'sale' items, debt consolidation loans..." "Nobody's dumb enough to get a debt consolidation loan from some random guy." "Ha ha hoo hoo hee-"

"Our long-term plan is like our short-term plan, only longer."

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

'The bad news is that our company is bankrupt. The good news is that we're only morally bankrupt.'

What Business People often say (and what they really mean)

Finally! There comes my most important man!

"I may need you to take the fall for the Swanson mess. So, goeth with pride."

"I say we downsize the company to the five of us and see if we can isolate the problem then."

Censorship? We Don't Do That Here.

"I don't want to insult your intelligence - I imagine that happens enough as it is."

"What are you going to do to make sure you reach this year's financial goals?"

"People, the facts are inescapable. Any ideas on how we can ignore them?"