Criticism Comebacks T-Shirts

"How do you respond to critics who say you only play the backcourt?"

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

Herman Mankiewicz

Reading my Critics

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

"VP J.D. Vance called Donald: 'cynical asshole,' a 'moral disaster,' a 'total fraud,' an 'idiot,' and suggested he might be 'America’s Hitler.'"

"Never mind, Harry. Just remember, the 'Saturday Review' loved it."

"Maybe I don't like stunning debuts."

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'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

Sculptor's chippings

"I'm afraid we have very little in the salary range you're accustomed to."

Suggestions and Cheap Shots.

"My two-year-old actually did paint that."

Art Critics.

'Exactly what day is this the soup of?'

'Typical phallic egocentrism!'

"Well, once you get your PhD on 'The Return of the Repressed in Early Jacobean Drama', then we;ll discuss how disappointed you are."

"Once you break through the plastic clamshell and blister packs, there won't be any packaging left!"

"I think it would look nicer in red."

"It's too academic."

Tony Blair in the morning and George Bush in the afternoon. Lulu and Stan were having a good day.

"A restaurant critic! I hope she doesn't make this place sound too good."

"It's taken her years to develop that naive, spontaneous, style."

"But is it art?"

"Would you like me to get one our experts to tell you what you think of it."

"I've seen this film ten times and it's still awful."

'Forget the artwork who made the martinis?!'

'I may not know much about art but I know what I like to slag off.'

"My art raises complex tissues."