Crime Scene Investigator In Training Prints

"That's not the stick, it's a blood-stained satchel full of money... but hey, good boy!"

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

"True crime meets reality TV"

"We need rain."

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

Next camera crew 5 mins

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

"The DNA sample from the mink fibres found in the suspect's car matched the DNA sample from the mink coat found at the scene of the crime, so I'm thinking, maybe these minks were twins?"

'Yes, folks, the victim was a bolt. Now, I'm afraid, he's a deadbolt.'

Police outline artist training academy: the intro 101 class.

Bribery and Corruption.

Police man stands guard at a murder scene in Egyptology department of a museum.

'It's the same EVERY year... 5 minutes to midnight; victims are all male, and they're carrying large sums of money.'

"All the salmon has disappeared yet every door to the house was locked. Oh, it's a mystery all right."

CSI Wonderland. (Photographer takes a picture of a cracked Humpty Dumpty. Investigators collect evidence from the scene.)

'By the looks of these skid marks, Humpty didn't fall- he was pushed!'

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

Newton's Law and Order.

"I couldn't finish that book either."

CSI: Alaska. "What have we got, Ted?" "Looks like a snowball with a rock in it...I'll know more when I get it back to the lab."

Turkey Autopsy

Well, you're busted! Forensics just came back: the bite-marks match your dental records!

'We've got a new DNA database...'

'We suspect death by Sunday supplement.'

Sewee-Cide.

"I'm home, with all my DNA."

'You're experienced with blood stains I trust?' (Smarthy ACME Carpet Cleaners)