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Cricketers

"I don't care if it's more bouncy - it threatens the integrity of the game."

Remarkable run-ups 1890-1940

'Let's see. One dozen red wigglers, two dozen nightcrawlers,three dozen crickets. Want flies with that?'

Pirate captain: 'I'm so embarrassed! I walked around all day with my swash unbuckled!'

Before instant replay.

'The MCC celebrate a famous victory' group of dodgy looking old English men holding drinking glasses

Mudville

End of football season - UK

Cartoon on Sachin Tendulkar's comparison to Don Bradman

"No, the guy with the bat doesn't get to kill the guys with the mitts."

'Olympic stadium for sale available 2013.'

'Oh, for the good old peaceful test match.'

Tour de Lance Over. Next year the To de France returns!

"We have half your money in bonds and annuities, the other half under an oak tree in the Caymans."

'That stranger's tellin' the truth, sheriff. Ol' Buford here done went into his windup first.'

"There's another thing - d'you realise it's over forty-three years since I took my last wicket?"

Match-fixing (cricket)

"Going cold turkey might be too much for him . . . Let him watch reruns of the 1977 centenary test in Melbourne until the lockdown is over!"

Footballers in the Middle Ages.

'Mogug is big and strong, and swings his club with power. I suggest we let him play rightfield and bat third.'

stonehenge bowling...

Spectators at a coliseum

'I'm sure that last ball was lbw.'

World's Oldest Ball Boy.

'Just 3 problems with the England team - they can't bat, can't bowl and can't field!'

John Wooden.

Diego Maradona, 1960-2020

W. G. Grace

'Myopic amputee school girls 2nd XI v's England' Damn it, when are we going to get some decent opposition?

1981 - Introduction of goal nets and penalty kicks to the newly-formed Football League.