Credit Score Savant Mugs

"Welcome to Illinois: Land of America's lowest credit rating!"

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

The dumpster code - find something, leave something.

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

"Up market, down market - he's still the same old curmudgeon."

"Ultimately, we realized we share too many app subscriptions not to make it work."

"In an unexpected development, the market behaved rationally today."

'Today, stocks rose on the news that the more people have, the more they want.'

'I think it's time to reboot your fiscal compass.'

A statue of a businessman in a park with an inscription that reads "Outperformed the market".

'No doubt about it, John, zero does represent a critical support level for this stock.'

Company Share Price - "The god news is we've become a very attractive takeover target, sir."

'While your word is your bond, at this point it's a junk bond.'

'You failed your Latin exam! But Sweety, it's important to learn Latin: All your friends' names have Latin roots...'

'Now might be a good time to interject the GOOD news to the stockholders!'

'I don't believe in hoarding cash and gold Dad: I invest in shares online...'

Man climbing line chart, planting profit flag.

'Sometimes I think the market is trying to tell us something, Ferguson...'

"Aw, Johnny... Why did you have to go and change... You've mutated!"

Piggy Bank ATM

Vaccines against Covid

Nuclear Fusion Reactor - Our Founder.

Your male pattern baldness is partly genetic and partly hereditary.

'Stocks fell on the perception that stocks would fall on the perception that stocks were falling.'

'We need to schedule an autopsy audit to find out what happened here.'

Keep it simple

'It's your debt to society.'

'The forever stamps I purchased at 42 cents are now 44 cents. That's an annual apprciation of 2 which is more than you earned on your investment portfolio.'

'And as further evidence of global warming, we have a front of fried eggs coming in from the north. . .'

Wall Street Red Ink.