Courtroom Stories T-Shirts

"In my client's defence, the label on the bottle clearly read, 'rat poison'...not 'people poison'."

Your are charged with habitual drunkeness, because of habitual thirst.

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

CRIMINAL COURT, 'Don't you just HATE it when they show no emotion?'

Mr. Smith, after becoming awake and aware of the shaodw government, was entrapped in the newly reorganized DARPA pre-crime sweep and charged with thought-crimes against society. . ."

Trial by Media

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

I love Lawyers

"Now that's a win."

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

"You can't plead cute."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"We make crime pay."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

"#notguilty."

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

Yawning barristers in court

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

'Your honor, if I may digress for a moment, who does your hair?'

Justice 4 Ron

"And I put it to you Mr. MacDonald, that on the morning of December 3rd, you had cold hands whilst attaching a milking machine to my client's udder!"

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

'The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth in what sense?'

Sue The Bastards