Courtroom Stories T-Shirts

"In my client's defence, the label on the bottle clearly read, 'rat poison'...not 'people poison'."

Your are charged with habitual drunkeness, because of habitual thirst.

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

CRIMINAL COURT, 'Don't you just HATE it when they show no emotion?'

Mr. Smith, after becoming awake and aware of the shaodw government, was entrapped in the newly reorganized DARPA pre-crime sweep and charged with thought-crimes against society. . ."

Trial by Media

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

I love Lawyers

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Now that's a win."

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

"You can't plead cute."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"#notguilty."

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"We make crime pay."

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

Yawning barristers in court

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

Sue The Bastards

"Look, I tried to tell everyone Timmy was in the well but no, what do I know, I'm just a dog!"