Court Drama Enthusiast Pillows

'Slow down. . . okay. . . 'Do you solemnly swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you god?''

Trial by Media

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

"We won!"

"Now that's a win."

Barristers

Sue the Author 3PM

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

You don't believe I could be a supreme court justice! You're ruining my self-esteem! F.Y.I? � Whiny tirades don't look good on a supreme court justice's record. Thank you for your candid assessments. I will certainly consider their merits. Fine judicial temperament. And reject them for their shallow insensitivity! Rejection overruled.

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"Now that I've swung back to depression, I'm truly sorry for what I did when I was manic."

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

"Lights! Camera! Justice!"

'We have irreconcilable differences -- he's a MAN!'

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

Robert Macaire as a Solicitor

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

Sue The Bastards

"Boy is he good! He's even got me convinced you're guilty!"

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

"Am I going to get my just desserts?"

'You are both charged with quarrelling without a license!'

"They're class action figures."

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."