Couch Potato Visionary T-Shirts

"Bringing him a television from the 1960's has turned him into a cro-magnon rock potato!"

Aerobic Channel Hopping

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Bowled over again!

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

American Idle.

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

"I'd go with you, but I'm a non-sporting breed."

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

'She'll never look for me here.'

"Clive used to be an astronaut."

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

Love is when you watch television together.

'The anger management is working... tonight there were fewer veins popping.'

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

"Er...nothing much has happened yet today...."

'Och lye the news'

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

'Fixed the leg on the telly yet?'

"Blood pressure 210/140. Heart rate 185. Steps taken 29. Sedentary 9.5 hours. Calories burned 19. You da man! Oh, and you're out of pork rinds." "Our classics TV marathon featuring 'Gunsmoke' will continue after..." "The unfitbit"

"Would you get me a beer from the refrigerator? Just grab one of the cans on the top shelf. Come on, I do so much for you—all these years, the walks, the food, the chases... Come on! Never mind."

Tunnel of TV

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

'The program is stupid, primitive, embarrassing, and boring. I want to buy a new telly.'

Succession 2