Couch Economist Pillows

'The economy today got a boost from Alan Greenspan, who said it's O.K. to be irrationally exuberant.'

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

Studies show foods work miracles!

"Bloody hell!"

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"All of a dither as per usual!"

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"Can you hypnotise me into being in shape?"

'John is watching the game under protest.'

"Stand up, honey. The president's on. You're committing treason."

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

"And next up, Fairy Tales: FolkLORE or FolkLIES!"

'What about you...you've been living here thirty years too?'

"You're overthinking it. Sometimes a belly rub is just a belly rub."

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

Psychiatrist with bust of Freud

'Call 911! He watched 12 straight hours of football without training adequately.'

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

"We subscribe to five streaming services so why are we never able to see the hot new show everybody is raving about?"

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

How to be a Dynamic Over-achiever

"It all started when I didn't grow up in a palatial estate."

"Tom, let's explore why you feel Andrea's inability to understand 'icing the puck' is passive-aggressive."

"Arthur, the bird's gone and done it again."

"China now says it will withdraw its opposition to the missile-defense shield if the F.B.I. builds it."

"I'm an agnostic now that I've started having self doubts."