Couch Critic Mugs

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

He wanted a big-screen TV; she didn't. So they compromised. She let him sit closer to the screen.

'What about you...you've been living here thirty years too?'

Lazy people have no leisure time.

Two uses for ten minutes in America.

The movie was over. But not for Bob.

'Mad cow?! ...BULL! I wasn't even the least bit angry until I laid on this LEATHER couch of yours!'

Emotional Baggage Handler

'-but surely it's unusual to have nightmares with COMMERCIALS?'

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"Bloody hell!"

"When I first met Howard, he had a touch of class. As it turns out, it was just a touch."

The following blank screen is brought to you by the Booksellers of America.

'The Degeneration Game'

'I'm quite full of myself. I don't want you to tinker with that.'

Bad News, Really Bad News, Horribly Bad News, Devastatingly Bad News and Apocalyptically Bad News.

'No, the couch wasn't being very supportive. Why do you think that is?'

"... And how long have you had this total fixation with T.V.?"

Tennis elbow

"God, I love this show!"

"All of a dither as per usual!"

'We interrupt this program and you can't do a thing about it - BWA HA HA HA HA HA!'

"When he needs to, Ed can really multitask!"

The Judging Panel Judge

'Fighting broke out in a region of the world previously thought to have been uninhabited.'

"I can't wait till after the election when everything will be perfect."

Police! Strike! Action!

The first projected loser: non-voters.

'You can't vote him off, dear - he's the newsreader'

"He's had more hot dinners than I've had hot dinners."

Real Reality Shows...

TV Watch(ing) Dog for sale.

Marriage counselor: 'I say he's a couch po-tah-toe, and he says, couch po-taa-toe!'

"That's Leon's 4th life coach this month. The others left to get help from their own life coaches."

'Our mother, I'm so pent up with rage I could twitter!'