Couch Critic Mugs

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

He wanted a big-screen TV; she didn't. So they compromised. She let him sit closer to the screen.

'What about you...you've been living here thirty years too?'

Lazy people have no leisure time.

Two uses for ten minutes in America.

The movie was over. But not for Bob.

Emotional Baggage Handler

"When I first met Howard, he had a touch of class. As it turns out, it was just a touch."

'-but surely it's unusual to have nightmares with COMMERCIALS?'

'No, the couch wasn't being very supportive. Why do you think that is?'

Bad News, Really Bad News, Horribly Bad News, Devastatingly Bad News and Apocalyptically Bad News.

'I'm quite full of myself. I don't want you to tinker with that.'

'The Degeneration Game'

The following blank screen is brought to you by the Booksellers of America.

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"Bloody hell!"

"That's Leon's 4th life coach this month. The others left to get help from their own life coaches."

Marriage counselor: 'I say he's a couch po-tah-toe, and he says, couch po-taa-toe!'

TV Watch(ing) Dog for sale.

"He's had more hot dinners than I've had hot dinners."

'You can't vote him off, dear - he's the newsreader'

The first projected loser: non-voters.

Police! Strike! Action!

"I can't wait till after the election when everything will be perfect."

'Fighting broke out in a region of the world previously thought to have been uninhabited.'

'We interrupt this program and you can't do a thing about it - BWA HA HA HA HA HA!'

"All of a dither as per usual!"

'A new study of people who watch television all the time reveals some shocking facts....'

"I told you that TV would be too big for this room."

"Too much TV makes you stupid."

"If he'd done that to me, I'd have got up and given him a good thump!"

"Warning: The following programme may contain intelligent, humorous, factual entertainment..."

The Complain About the Election Channel

Multi tasking, zero tasking

"Any chance of a longer couch?"