Cosmetics Executive Prints

Bad news, our men's aftershave has just been listed as an environmental hazard.

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

"Too much concealer?"

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

'Have you no common scents?!'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

"I don't like your application."

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

'Sure I'm late. . . I not only have to get ready for school. . . now I have to get ready in case some idiot takes my picture for YouTube.'

'You're much better than my mom. You can hardly tell when she paints her face.'

"That new drug causes flatulence."

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

One of the Ten Best Hair Days of the Year

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

Have you got your make up on yet?

'Maybe I should get a shopping cart.'

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

"Hair spray"

AstraZeneca Vaccine vs Sputnik V

Your presentation will be terrific. I was up all night, but something's still missing. Here. I've got just what you need. How thoughtful! Eye concealer! No need to thank me.

'What I call a miracle drug is one that doesn't start a government investigation.'

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.