Correctional Officer T-Shirts

"If the jury had been sequestered in a nicer hotel, this would probably never have happened."

Two men in jail: One wearing shirt with 'Guilty', the other with 'Guilty by Association'.

Prisoner Crossing

'My wife says I take all the romance out of our conjugal visits.'

"Well, if you ever want to talk, you know where to find me. My door is never open."

"It's the warden's idea. She thinks it's cute."

Post Office fraud wing in a prison.

'Excuse me - any news of my rehabilitation programme?'

"Here they come!"

"… which of course begs the question can any punishment really ever fit any crime?"

"Carl! I thought I'd find you here."

"Good afternoon sir, my name is Raymond from the department of corrections."

'I'm seriously thinking of firing you as my lawyer.'

Prisoner with lots of Locks.

'Say, you must be the Ed Johnson my wife kept telling me she should have married!'

A confinement of convicts

'Yeah, I know I said they'd never take me alive -- you call this living?'

'It's the latest electronic free-tracking tag...'

'My final request? How about 'Who Put The Overalls In Mrs. Murphy's Chaowder?''

WARDEN, 'You're a bad influence around here, Murdock!'

'I'd like to start seeing other people.'

Prison Chicken

'When I get out, I'm going straight!'

'Wait a sec. I'm getting another call.'

'What a doofus! - He started an upside-down pyramid scheme!'

"Usually 20 minutes on the jolly jumper and they're ready to join everyone else again."

Nebraska Prisons

"I told the judge I didn't think prison was the best option for me, yet here I am."

"We're so close that we're finishing each other's sentences."

"Actually, this tastes exactly like home cooking to me...ma's one of the prison cooks here!"

"The bad news is Lady Sybil has died in childbirth. On the other hand, Bates is back home and Tom's sticking around to help run the estate."

"Actually, I'd written off the nineties before my conviction."

"From where I'm sitting, ha-ha, you're behind bars!"

State Prison Child Care

"Prose & Cons."