Corporate World Joker Pillows

'I'm in accounts.'

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

Spot the difference.

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

Areas of the Body Where Stress Can Manifest

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

Sign - Halt manager crossing

'I play so hard that I have no time to work hard.'

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

'Asynchronous, collaborative, interactive - we're obviously on a roll.'

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

"I hate performance review season."

"Remember...when the going gets tough...DELEGATE!"

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

'He had a meteoric rise to the top.'

'What's wrong now?'

"Your mother called to remind you to diversify."

'Bad news, sir -- there's a leak in our think tank!'

'You really want that promotion, don't you, Sherman?'

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."