Corporate World Joker Pillows

'I'm in accounts.'

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

Spot the difference.

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

Areas of the Body Where Stress Can Manifest

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

'Mr. Dawson, about when I said 'don't pull any punches'...'

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

'I play so hard that I have no time to work hard.'

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

Sign - Halt manager crossing

'Asynchronous, collaborative, interactive - we're obviously on a roll.'

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

"Remember...when the going gets tough...DELEGATE!"

"I hate performance review season."

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

'What's wrong now?'

'He had a meteoric rise to the top.'

"Your mother called to remind you to diversify."

'You really want that promotion, don't you, Sherman?'

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

'Bad news, sir -- there's a leak in our think tank!'