Corporate Trainers Mugs

'Welcome to the Business Ethics course. Today we're going to start with the basics.'

Women's day - one of the chaps.

"Before we decide that SEO is dead, can someone tell me what SEO is?"

"Where we lack in productivity is made up by extremely low employee turnover."

"I want you to come up with a new word to define 'profits'."

'You want next door - this is inhuman resources.'

"Yes, we see you, Tom... but could you hold your comments until the end of the meeting?"

"I'm sorry, but Fred isn't available. He's spending a few days in the penalty box for not being a good team player. May I help you?"

"As an expert in loyalty, Fido will create an emotional bond with each customer."

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

"A few years ago, you management gurus told us to downsize until the halls echoed..."

"On the bright side, our management training program is a roaring success."

Male & Female separate company buildings

"That had to be the worst job performance review I've ever had."

"And right here is where we got jiggy with it."

"We like to think of ourselves as a very progressive company. After all, a little self-delusion never hurt anyone."

"You have excellent qualifications but we were actually looking for someone with testicles."

"We've set up a trap. . . I mean, track, for female hires to get to the top."

"Miss Jones. You can't report me for sexual harassment just because I offered you a pay rise."

"Well the good news is that 67 people want to attend the leadership course, the bad news is that 58 of them want to run it!"

Performance anxiety lessons, the more you practice something.

'And now, Mr. X will present our hidden agenda.'

Women's day - 'work'

Early Consultants

'Just wanted to step in say: we have a great consulting firm on this floor.'

'Quite frankly,Jefferson, we like our people to wobble a little'

Women's day - place to work.

Profits are down, staff morale is in freefall and we haven't kept control of costs...but it's not all bad news..."

'This is serious. I think our area of expertise lacks a buzzword.'

'Fired - for gross incompetence. I totally get the gross part, but incompetent?!'

"We welcome our first female employee - to make you feel more comfortable, we put some feminine hygiene products by the water cooler for you!"

Hindering Holiday Harassment

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."